Oh Brother!

 

This past Saturday I attended a funeral for a man I never met.   And no- I'm not becoming that "type" of retiree that trolls the funeral scene looking for a free meal.   Instead, Robert was the older brother of a friend from the neighborhood.  

As I sat and listened to stories about a thrill seeking young man, who as he got older-went looking for adventures and thrills in less healthy ways than he found as a child- I thought- even with a difficult end to his story- my friend is now without her sibling.   I cannot begin to understand what that must feel like.

And as my mind often wonders- I found myself reflecting on sibling memories, especially that of Richard and his own sibling, Robert.    In the great sift-sort-scan project of '22-'24 I unearthed countless photos of the brothers together.   And while I have passed the photos on to either Laura or Robert's children- I am still stuck with a need to write a story about the brotherly bond these men shared for 85 years.  

On first glance- the brothers could not be more different. 

 Robert would find his life's happiness working the soil just as his father and grandparents had done.  

He would eventually purchase his parents farm and even take on a career with the USDA.   He'd take a few trips here and there, but never wandered too far from where his life story began.

He would marry his college sweetheart and together they'd have a family of 7 children- followed by numerous grandchildren and even enjoy great-grandchildren before his passing.  

Richard as we know-would make different choices in career, family size and even geographical locations in which to raise his small family.

Despite these differences- the brothers still had a connection- for as we know- that connection takes root in our earliest memories growing up together!

I unearthed a letter Robert had written to his younger brother-in celebration of Richard's upcoming retirement.   

Robert writes-

A few helpful hints about retirement from older, already retired brother

1. Take Advantage of your new freedom; freedom to escape the climate if you want to or travel the world
2. Do the things you like to do and the heck with all else.
3. Seek out the company of persons who share your interests.
4. Don't spend all your retirement savings too quickly.

He goes on to attach a personal ad, with some heavy hinting that perhaps Richard should find himself a partner to share in the next chapters of his life.  

And while that nudge never gained traction- I think it's safe to say that Richard did follow all of his brother's words of wisdom.

Robert's health would start to decline as he reached his 80s and in 2018 he would pass away.  Richard himself was having some serious health issues that meant he was not medically cleared to travel from AZ to WI when it became clear that Robert's days were numbered.

My husband happened to be "Doc sitting" when the call came that Robert had passed.  Dom shared later that it would be the first and probably the only time he'd seen his father-in-law cry, as he sat in the chair, holding his head in his hands and softly murmuring "I'm all alone now, I'm all alone".

Is there no truer sentiment that conveys the love these brothers shared?

Until next time- 

Take the pictures-tell the stories..

and love your brother...no matter what!